I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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