I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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