The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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