I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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