i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
