So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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