god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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