His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize