this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
