Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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