She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it was like having sex with a tree stump
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
