No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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