have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
