Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
