What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You dont lie about slip and slides
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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