I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
