So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
