Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
