from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
