so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
