I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
