sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
