All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
