A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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