Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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