gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize