i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
