ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
well you can't waste a boner
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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