he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Hippo gnu deer
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
