Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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