hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Bring me that man meat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
