if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
