Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
