I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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