He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize