Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
