oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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