operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
