Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just pee around me
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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