The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
