great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize