I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
