id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
