a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
