please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
