Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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