that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
