Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
