I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
