shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
