this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
