She's JV to your varsity
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
