what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
