Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
