I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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