I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
